Fier Thy Words

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If I Could Turn Back Time


Ever since watching Donnie Darko- which I highly recommend everybody sees at least once (twice if you want any chance of understanding it)- I have always been somewhat fixated with the whole concept of time travel. Seeing into the future could have some appeal, but then having to go back to the present knowing what awaited you would be no fun at all. Unless you had the ability to change what you had seen in your future, which would then completely defeat the purpose.

So- I generally waste way too much of my time wondering what I would do or not do given the ability to go back in time.

Now I don’t know about you, but I have always had some fundamental questions should such a trip ever take place.

1. When I go back in time, would I be going back in my current state or to the state I was in at the time?
2. Would I go back with all of the knowledge I have now, or only what I knew to that point?
3. Would I have to pay roaming charges should I make a phone call on my cell?

Ok, so take away the third question (although you know its a cool thought) and I am left with 2 things which are awfully important if you are considering going back in time.

Personally, if given the oppurtunity, I would hope to be placed back in state I was in at that point, with the knowledge I current possess. I guess you could argue that by going back in time knowing what you now right now would sort of be the same thing as coming back to the future knowing what was going to happen.

But for arguments sake, lets just say I can go back in time and make decisions all over again, knowing full well where many of these decisions ended up leaving me.

For instance: The first thing I would do is go back in time to the night I decided to pay $10.50 to see Balls of Fury. I would have to go back in time knowing the movie was among the worst pieces of cinematic creation in the history of film. Not knowing so would probably cost me the $10.50 all over again. And for the record, the reason I saw it was curiosity with nothing else to do on a Tuesday night. I regret it, lets move on.

But in all seriousness, there are lots of situations I would love to do all over again. Would I go back and study harder for my SAT’s? Absolutely not, because I still ended up here. Would I go back and alter anything I did academically come to think about it? Fuck no. I am damn proud of how little I worked and how far I’ve gotten, thank you very much.

There is probably a lot of purchases I’ve made over the years I would go back and not make, such as the 100+ dollars I spent in 8th grade on WWF action figures I ended up playing with maybe 3 times. I overpaid countless times to have things overnighted due to my unbearable impatience, but looking back I probably didn’t need to have Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory shipped the next day as if it were the last copy in existence (talking of course about the Gene Wilder version, which is among the greatest movies you will ever see).

The most regrettable decisions I have ever made are probably too personal to write about, however at this point I really don’t have anything to lose (get it, because I already did) so if I could back, there are a handful of situations I would have handled very differently.

I would have treated those closest to me better, and trusted more. I would have appreciated the time I spent with certain people a lot more than I did, and not gotten so caught up in what else I could have been doing, while instead just being happy with what I was doing.

I would have realized that trying to be right all the time wasn’t worth it (even though I probably was…jk…but seriously) and that fighting with people (and I’m not singling out anybody in particular) never really solved any major problems.

I would have listened a hell of a lot more to the wants and needs of people other than myself, for it probably would have taught me a lot of the things I wasn’t doing, along with a lot of things I should have been doing.

I would have respected other people a lot more, for once again, I probably on many of occasions thought my way was the only way, and as a result came accross as being incredibly insensitive.

Finally, I would have never been selfish enough to think that being by myself was the right way to go, because anybody will agree that there aren’t a whole lot of feelings worse than being alone. And im not just talking about relationships. Going to the mall or the movies. Getting something to eat. Seeing a baseball game or even just wasting away an afternoon. All typically more entertaining with another person you can share the experience with.

But back to reality. Going back in time is a fantasy, if you even want to call it that. The past is exactly what it is. The past. It can’t be changed, for better or worse, and thats probably the best thing for all of us. The best we can hope for is to learn from everything we’ve done, and do our best not to do the wrongs things again, while finding ways to make the right things even better.

Sorry to get all sappy on you, but I think its all pretty true. The best thing to do is to try and make safe decisions you wont regret.

Now does anybody want to lend me $10.50? Theres a 8pm showing of Good Luck Chuck I can still catch.


October 30, 2007 - Posted by | Personal, Thoughts

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