If you don’t know by now, I recently became completed addicted Scrubs. I’ve always watched the show, but within the past few weeks I really started watching religiously, bought the DVD’s and went through 6 seasons in less than 2 weeks.
The show is not only a great source of comedy, but also comes through with some great drama and meaning.
I’ve searched the web and collected as many quotes as I could find, and I want to share them with everyone, because whether or not you watch the show, these quotes should mean something to everyone.
**I have also started to find some of the funnier, lighter jokes from the show and have mixed them in. There are an endless supply of them, which is why I encourage you to check out the show if you don’t already watch it.
Dr. John (J.D.) Dorian (Zach Braff)
“I usually don’t like thinking about the future. I mean let’s face it, you can’t predict what’s going to happen. But sometimes, the thing you didn’t expect is what you really wanted after all. Maybe the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you’re going and just enjoy where you’re at.”
“Sometimes the answer you get is the one you least expect. but more often than not, the answers we’ve been looking for have been inside us all along. i guess the important thing is to never stop searching.”
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it’s really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, everytime you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you’re always glad you took it. ”
“I guess in the end, things seldom work out the way you expect. sometimes, fate is on your side. other times, well, you’ve kind of sealed your own fate. either way you have to trust that whatever’s supposed to happen, will happen. ”
“I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do whatever you can to make ’em happy.”
“The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones that make up who you are as a person”
“‘Cause even if it breaks your heart to be ‘just friends’, if you really care about someone, you’ll take the hit.“
“The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.”
“Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.”
“I don’t think people are meant to be by themselves. That’s why if you find someone you acutally care about, it’s important to let go of the little things. Even if you can’t let go all the way. Becuase nothing sucks more than being all alone. No matter how many people are around.”
“There comes a time when every man has to make a choice. Whether it’s a professional choice…Or whether it’s a personal choice. In the end, it’s about integrity. And it’s about chasing after what you really want. Even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes…well, sometimes you just have to do what’s right for your friend. Even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.”
“It’s not always easy to do the right thing. Like putting someone else’s feelings first for a change. Even if it goes against what you really want. Of course, there’s always ramifications…Even if you do the right thing, there’s no guarantee it’ll turn out the right way.”
“I guess it comes down to how we want to be seen by other people. Some people want to be seen as the rebel. Some people just want to be seen, period. Some people have limits on how far they’ll go to protect their image. For me, it was when I stopped worrying about how other people saw me that I finally started to look better.”
“I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You’d never know it, but there’s most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way. Maybe because you’re feeling abandoned. Maybe because you realize that you aren’t as self-sufficient as you thought. Maybe because you know you should’ve handled something differently. Or maybe because you aren’t as good as you thought you were. Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity…Or you can suck it up. It’s your call.”
“It’s a mystery how one woman can drive you crazy over and over again, while another can bring you right back down to earth. In the end you have to trust that the perfect woman will always lead you in the right direction.”
“The weird thing is that, even though its natural, sex can make us uncomfortable. But if we work at it, we can get beyond that discomfort, and realize that sex can actually be a comfort. Sex can even be a cure. How do I know all of this? Because no one understands how important sex is better than someone who isn’t having it.”
(Personal Favorite Scrubs Moment) “[To Dr. Cox] I tried to convince myself the reason I didn’t come in before was because of you coming into work drunk. But that’s not it. I was scared. I guess after all this time, I still think of you as like this super hero, who will help me out of any situation I’m in. I needed that. But that’s my problem, you know? And I’ll deal with that. I guess I came over here to tell you how proud of you I am. Not because you did the best you could for those patients, but because after 20 years of being a doctor, when things go badly, you still take it this hard. And I gotta tell you man, I mean, that’s the kind of doctor I want to be.”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up and SHUT UP, okay?! Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is bitch about your relationships all day long. [to Dr. Cox] And you know what glare all you want, Big Dog, okay, because I’m not afraid of you. ‘Oh no, Jordan’s only paying attention to the baby.’ That must be so hard for Dr. Look-At-Me, isn’t it? LOOK-AT-MEEEE. [to Carla and Turk] And you two, you’re arguing ever since you got engaged. Wow, you’re probably the first couple that’s ever done that EVER. It can’t be that you’re just scared, is it? [to Elliot] And you, you know what, let’s just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn’t be in a relationship with anyone, because for me, it’s actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is while I’m sitting at home staring at the ceiling just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!”
“Some people hide from who they really are, others accept who they are. But, sometimes, it’s the tough moments that help you realize who you’ve finally become.”
“Look, Elliot. Every year we bounce around this thing and I never had the courage to stand up and tell you how I feel. I’m crazy about you. And I want you to know if I had the choice of hanging out with anyone in the entire world or sitting at home with you eating pizza watching a crappy TV show, I’d choose you every time.”
“The problem with people who only want what they can’t have is that once they have what they want, they don’t want it anymore.”
Dr. Perry Cox (John C. McGinley)
“Relationships don’t work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever. Gimme a break.
Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven’t.
Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken.
You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down.
One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.”
“Gosh. I guess I became a doctor because ever since I was a little boy I wanted to help people. I don’t tell this story very often, but I remember when I was seven years old, one time I had found a bird that had fallen out of its nest, and so I picked him up and brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoe box. And-[laughs] oh my God. I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does; chicks, money, power and chicks. But since HMO’s have made it virtually impossible to make any real money, which directly effects the number of chicks who come sniffin’ around, and don’t ask me what tree they’re barkin’ up ’cause they sure as hell are not pissin’ on mine. As far as power goes, well, here I am during my free time letting some thirteen-year-old psychology fellow who couldn’t cut it in real medicine ask me questions about my personal life. So here’s the inside scoop there, Pumpkin, why don’t you go ahead and tell me all about power…”
“Relationships? Well, Sigmund. Relationships are so… fragile. It just takes one thing, one… tiny little offense, and it can snowball on ya. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid, you’d better tuck and go, my friend.”
“And bam! The shine’s off the apple. And that’s when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn’t a pretty little girl at all. No, she’s a man-eater. And I’m not talking about the “whoa-whoa, here she comes” kind of man-eater. I’m talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. And of course, I may have tormented her from time to time, but, honest to God, that’s what I thought marriage was all about. So much so, that, by the end of that relationship, I honestly don’t know who I hated more – her or me. I used to sit around and wonder… why our friends weren’t trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here it turns out, the answer’s pretty simple: They weren’t unhappy. We were.”
” I’m gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want”
“[To J.D., who is staying with Cox after sleeping with his sister-in-law] Look, Tammy, as far as your love life goes, normally I couldn’t care less who’s laying your quivering body down by the fire while your lips whisper “No, no…no” but your eyes scream, “Yes. Yes. Oh, big daddy, yes!” But when you’re dating Jordan’s sissy-poo, it forces me to spend time with you outside of the hospital, and I just won’t have that. So, here’s the deal: Don’t want to have dinner with you. Don’t want to go bowling with you. And I never, ever again want to walk into my kitchen and hear you say, [singing] “Ohh, it’s waffle time! It’s waffle time! Won’t you have some waffles of mine?”. Bottom line, we’ll be bestest friends for everest if you just keep your face out of my face, hmmmmm?
“You know, Newbie, it’s so interesting — I found I couldn’t sleep last night, so, in order to pass the time, I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you. Anyway, I came up with people who call Wednesdays “hump day” and, of course, all Sandra Bullock movies.”
“You see Dr. Wen in there? He’s explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died. He’s gonna tell them what happened, he’s gonna say he’s sorry, and then he’s going back to work. You think anybody else in that room is going back to work today? That is why we distance ourselves, that’s why we make jokes. We don’t do it because it’s fun — we do it so we can get by…and sometimes because it’s fun. But mostly it’s the getting by thing.”
“Let me go ahead and share a little something special with you that i like to call Perry’s perspective: one, if someone is standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and can’t decide what they want in the half hour it took to get to the register then i should be allowed to kill them; two, i am fairly sure that if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called bring back the porn; three, and most importantly of all, the only way to be respected as a doctor and a man is to be an island, you are born alone, you damn sure die alone. Isn’t that right spike? the point is, and you might want to jot this down, only the weak need help.”
“(To J.D.) Don’t ever be afraid to come to me with stuff like that. The simple fact that you actually seem to give a crap is the reason I took an interest in you to begin with. It’s why I trust you as a doctor. Hell, it’s… it’s why I trust you as a person.”
“Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren’t ‘See ya’ then the third word will be ‘Oh my god. My crotch. You’ve punched me in my crotch.'”
“You couldn’t push my buttons if you tried. In fact, I have no buttons. Please think of me as button-less, all smooth like G.I Joe’s nether-regions. And, by the by, this image is brought to you by my son Jack, who has been yanking the pants off of his toy soldiers and leaving them in provocative positions on my nightstand. It is… just disturbing enough so that, leaving the house, I’m cranky and less able to suffer fools which brings me back to you – THE FOOL. I’m done suffering you so go now. Go… go before you can write a book entitled “Help! A Large Doctor is Beating My Ass COLON: The Lester Hedrick Story”.”
“I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh… Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything – eve – everything that exists – past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions… Oh! And Hugh Jackman. ”
Dr. Robert (Bob) Kelso (Ken Jenkins)
“Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy”
“[into phone] Darling, I want to say something. For the past 25 years, we’ve been going through the motions — once every couple of weeks we have sex, and then we have breakfast without saying a word. Well, tonight, I want you to put on a nice dress, because I’m gonna take you to dinner and I’m gonna start telling you all the things I haven’t taken the time to say all these years. … I love you, too.”
“Hello Perry. I don’t really know why I’m here but nurse Espinosa said if I don’t come round, she’ll stop coming to my house and talk to my pool boy. He speaks perfect english but he has no front teeth so I can never look at him without laughing.”
“Sex is only good for two things. Making babies and revenge.”
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