Fier Thy Words

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[scrubs] Quotes

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If you don’t know by now, I recently became completed addicted Scrubs. I’ve always watched the show, but within the past few weeks I really started watching religiously, bought the DVD’s and went through 6 seasons in less than 2 weeks.

The show is not only a great source of comedy, but also comes through with some great drama and meaning.

I’ve searched the web and collected as many quotes as I could find, and I want to share them with everyone, because whether or not you watch the show, these quotes should mean something to everyone.

**I have also started to find some of the funnier, lighter jokes from the show and have mixed them in. There are an endless supply of them, which is why I encourage you to check out the show if you don’t already watch it.

Dr. John (J.D.) Dorian (Zach Braff)

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“I usually don’t like thinking about the future. I mean let’s face it, you can’t predict what’s going to happen. But sometimes, the thing you didn’t expect is what you really wanted after all. Maybe the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you’re going and just enjoy where you’re at.”

Sometimes the answer you get is the one you least expect. but more often than not, the answers we’ve been looking for have been inside us all along. i guess the important thing is to never stop searching.

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it’s really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, everytime you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you’re always glad you took it. ”

“I guess in the end, things seldom work out the way you expect. sometimes, fate is on your side. other times, well, you’ve kind of sealed your own fate. either way you have to trust that whatever’s supposed to happen, will happen.

“I guess when you care about someone, you’ll do whatever you can to make ’em happy.”

The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones that make up who you are as a person”

‘Cause even if it breaks your heart to be ‘just friends’, if you really care about someone, you’ll take the hit.

The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.”

Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind.”

I don’t think people are meant to be by themselves. That’s why if you find someone you acutally care about, it’s important to let go of the little things. Even if you can’t let go all the way. Becuase nothing sucks more than being all alone. No matter how many people are around.”

There comes a time when every man has to make a choice. Whether it’s a professional choice…Or whether it’s a personal choice. In the end, it’s about integrity. And it’s about chasing after what you really want. Even if that means showing you both care a little. And sometimes…well, sometimes you just have to do what’s right for your friend. Even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.”

It’s not always easy to do the right thing. Like putting someone else’s feelings first for a change. Even if it goes against what you really want. Of course, there’s always ramifications…Even if you do the right thing, there’s no guarantee it’ll turn out the right way.”

I guess it comes down to how we want to be seen by other people. Some people want to be seen as the rebel. Some people just want to be seen, period. Some people have limits on how far they’ll go to protect their image. For me, it was when I stopped worrying about how other people saw me that I finally started to look better.”

I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You’d never know it, but there’s most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way. Maybe because you’re feeling abandoned. Maybe because you realize that you aren’t as self-sufficient as you thought. Maybe because you know you should’ve handled something differently. Or maybe because you aren’t as good as you thought you were. Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity…Or you can suck it up. It’s your call.”

It’s a mystery how one woman can drive you crazy over and over again, while another can bring you right back down to earth. In the end you have to trust that the perfect woman will always lead you in the right direction.”

The weird thing is that, even though its natural, sex can make us uncomfortable. But if we work at it, we can get beyond that discomfort, and realize that sex can actually be a comfort. Sex can even be a cure. How do I know all of this? Because no one understands how important sex is better than someone who isn’t having it.”

(Personal Favorite Scrubs Moment) [To Dr. Cox] I tried to convince myself the reason I didn’t come in before was because of you coming into work drunk. But that’s not it. I was scared. I guess after all this time, I still think of you as like this super hero, who will help me out of any situation I’m in. I needed that. But that’s my problem, you know? And I’ll deal with that. I guess I came over here to tell you how proud of you I am. Not because you did the best you could for those patients, but because after 20 years of being a doctor, when things go badly, you still take it this hard. And I gotta tell you man, I mean, that’s the kind of doctor I want to be.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up and SHUT UP, okay?! Who are you people to give me advice about anything? All you do is bitch about your relationships all day long. [to Dr. Cox] And you know what glare all you want, Big Dog, okay, because I’m not afraid of you. ‘Oh no, Jordan’s only paying attention to the baby.’ That must be so hard for Dr. Look-At-Me, isn’t it? LOOK-AT-MEEEE. [to Carla and Turk] And you two, you’re arguing ever since you got engaged. Wow, you’re probably the first couple that’s ever done that EVER. It can’t be that you’re just scared, is it? [to Elliot] And you, you know what, let’s just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn’t be in a relationship with anyone, because for me, it’s actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is. Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is while I’m sitting at home staring at the ceiling just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!”

Some people hide from who they really are, others accept who they are. But, sometimes, it’s the tough moments that help you realize who you’ve finally become.”

“Look, Elliot. Every year we bounce around this thing and I never had the courage to stand up and tell you how I feel. I’m crazy about you. And I want you to know if I had the choice of hanging out with anyone in the entire world or sitting at home with you eating pizza watching a crappy TV show, I’d choose you every time.”

“The problem with people who only want what they can’t have is that once they have what they want, they don’t want it anymore.”

Dr. Perry Cox (John C. McGinley)

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“Relationships don’t work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won’t they? And then they finally do, and they’re happy forever. Gimme a break.

Nine out of ten of them end because they weren’t right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I’m telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven’t.

Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y’know, in some cultures, a chicken.

You can call me a sucker, I don’t care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it’s couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don’t let it take them down.

One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.”

“Gosh. I guess I became a doctor because ever since I was a little boy I wanted to help people. I don’t tell this story very often, but I remember when I was seven years old, one time I had found a bird that had fallen out of its nest, and so I picked him up and brought him home, and I made him a house out of an empty shoe box. And-[laughs] oh my God. I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does; chicks, money, power and chicks. But since HMO’s have made it virtually impossible to make any real money, which directly effects the number of chicks who come sniffin’ around, and don’t ask me what tree they’re barkin’ up ’cause they sure as hell are not pissin’ on mine. As far as power goes, well, here I am during my free time letting some thirteen-year-old psychology fellow who couldn’t cut it in real medicine ask me questions about my personal life. So here’s the inside scoop there, Pumpkin, why don’t you go ahead and tell me all about power…”

“Relationships? Well, Sigmund. Relationships are so… fragile. It just takes one thing, one… tiny little offense, and it can snowball on ya. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid, you’d better tuck and go, my friend.”

“And bam! The shine’s off the apple. And that’s when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn’t a pretty little girl at all. No, she’s a man-eater. And I’m not talking about the “whoa-whoa, here she comes” kind of man-eater. I’m talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dishtowel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. And of course, I may have tormented her from time to time, but, honest to God, that’s what I thought marriage was all about. So much so, that, by the end of that relationship, I honestly don’t know who I hated more – her or me. I used to sit around and wonder… why our friends weren’t trying to destroy each other, like we were. And here it turns out, the answer’s pretty simple: They weren’t unhappy. We were.”

” I’m gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want”

[To J.D., who is staying with Cox after sleeping with his sister-in-law] Look, Tammy, as far as your love life goes, normally I couldn’t care less who’s laying your quivering body down by the fire while your lips whisper “No, no…no” but your eyes scream, “Yes. Yes. Oh, big daddy, yes!” But when you’re dating Jordan’s sissy-poo, it forces me to spend time with you outside of the hospital, and I just won’t have that. So, here’s the deal: Don’t want to have dinner with you. Don’t want to go bowling with you. And I never, ever again want to walk into my kitchen and hear you say, [singing] “Ohh, it’s waffle time! It’s waffle time! Won’t you have some waffles of mine?”. Bottom line, we’ll be bestest friends for everest if you just keep your face out of my face, hmmmmm?

“You know, Newbie, it’s so interesting — I found I couldn’t sleep last night, so, in order to pass the time, I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you. Anyway, I came up with people who call Wednesdays “hump day” and, of course, all Sandra Bullock movies.”

“You see Dr. Wen in there? He’s explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died. He’s gonna tell them what happened, he’s gonna say he’s sorry, and then he’s going back to work. You think anybody else in that room is going back to work today? That is why we distance ourselves, that’s why we make jokes. We don’t do it because it’s fun — we do it so we can get by…and sometimes because it’s fun. But mostly it’s the getting by thing.”

“Let me go ahead and share a little something special with you that i like to call Perry’s perspective: one, if someone is standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and can’t decide what they want in the half hour it took to get to the register then i should be allowed to kill them; two, i am fairly sure that if they took porn off the internet, there would only be one website left and it would be called bring back the porn; three, and most importantly of all, the only way to be respected as a doctor and a man is to be an island, you are born alone, you damn sure die alone. Isn’t that right spike? the point is, and you might want to jot this down, only the weak need help.”

“(To J.D.) Don’t ever be afraid to come to me with stuff like that. The simple fact that you actually seem to give a crap is the reason I took an interest in you to begin with. It’s why I trust you as a doctor. Hell, it’s… it’s why I trust you as a person.”

“Newbie, if the next two words out of your mouth aren’t ‘See ya’ then the third word will be ‘Oh my god. My crotch. You’ve punched me in my crotch.'”

“You couldn’t push my buttons if you tried. In fact, I have no buttons. Please think of me as button-less, all smooth like G.I Joe’s nether-regions. And, by the by, this image is brought to you by my son Jack, who has been yanking the pants off of his toy soldiers and leaving them in provocative positions on my nightstand. It is… just disturbing enough so that, leaving the house, I’m cranky and less able to suffer fools which brings me back to you – THE FOOL. I’m done suffering you so go now. Go… go before you can write a book entitled “Help! A Large Doctor is Beating My Ass COLON: The Lester Hedrick Story”.”

I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh… Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin Grammys, the real Grammys. Jeff, that Wiggle who sleeps too darn much! The Yankees payroll, all the red states, all the blue states, every hybrid car, every talk show host! Everything on the planet, everything in the solar system, everything everything everything everything everything everything – eve – everything that exists – past, present and future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions… Oh! And Hugh Jackman.
Dr. Robert (Bob) Kelso (Ken Jenkins)

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“Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy”

[into phone] Darling, I want to say something. For the past 25 years, we’ve been going through the motions — once every couple of weeks we have sex, and then we have breakfast without saying a word. Well, tonight, I want you to put on a nice dress, because I’m gonna take you to dinner and I’m gonna start telling you all the things I haven’t taken the time to say all these years. … I love you, too.”

“Hello Perry. I don’t really know why I’m here but nurse Espinosa said if I don’t come round, she’ll stop coming to my house and talk to my pool boy. He speaks perfect english but he has no front teeth so I can never look at him without laughing.”

Jordan Sullivan

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“Sex is only good for two things. Making babies and revenge.”

30 Comments »

  1. hi. i have to say. i love this show. I know that i am only 16 years old, but i want to be one of the smart people, well taught people that learn the rights in life. And in this show, some how they get it to show you that path in which to fallow. the right and wrong. The difference between love and friendship. I dont know if i am stupid or not to believe in the wisdom this show produces but from what i see/hear is right. This may be personal but when you watch this show, do you get the same feeling? As if i am saying do you get a feeling in which shows you, or helps tell you how most of life works? –

    Comment by zech dahms | February 13, 2008 | Reply

    • I totally get what you’re on about….I love this show but none of my family seems to understand my attraction to it, but you’re right. There are loads of things that I learn from this show, and they are really good at separating the right and wrong whilst making a joke which is a really admirable thing. I used to think the alot of comedy in America was a bit brash and samey, but Scrubs is something totally different.

      Comment by elise humphries | May 17, 2011 | Reply

  2. could not agree with you more

    scrubs is a show which succeeds in finding the right balance of humor, emotion and meaning

    everybody can find a character or a moment or a situation they can relate to, and i know that personally the show was able to produce and endless amount of those moments and those quotes which could not related to me more perfectly

    Comment by Adam | February 13, 2008 | Reply

  3. May I, as a Brit, throw my tuppence-worth in?

    Here in the UK Scrubs was imported by Channel Four and it is presently being rerun on E4. We British tend to think that Americans aren’t very good at subtle comedy, and certainly, when one thinks about the formuliac comedy of Friends and Seinfeld, that looks justified.

    Then, you suddenly recall The Simpsons and the glorious, obscene and amoral comedy of South Park. We remember the clever, funny and wonderful Cheers and Frazier -surely two of the best comedies made. Ever.

    And then we have Scrubs. Trying to describe it to anyone who has suffered the misfortune of never having seen it is virtually impossible. To call it just comedy is like calling the Effiel Tower a collection of scrap metal!

    To get my nightly fix of Scrubs I have to stay up to the small hours and watch two episodes back to back – and then watch them again on E4+1!! I’m probably taking years off my life but it’s worth it.

    The quality of the writing is awesome -and flawless, the casting perfect, the music compliments perfectly and it has one quality that sets it above virtually all other comedies I have ever seen:The ability to go from the comedy to pathos without lapsing into kitsch sentimentality – a feature all to common in American comedies.

    To pull off that trick makes Scrubs unique and wonderful and I have only seen it in two British comedies – One Foot in the Grave and The Fast Show. How many comedies do you know, like Scrubs, where you start out laughing and end up almost crying?

    Scrubs manages to be comedy and yet it transcends comedy and becomes something else which has no name yet, instinctively, we recognize as something more than just merely comic.

    Amidst all the ill-will directed at America, I always remember that there is the America of Scrubs – and any country that can produce something so human, humane, funny and hideously clever is fundamentally a good country.

    Comment by Gary Richmond | February 22, 2008 | Reply

  4. Wow. I agree whole-heartedly with the Limey. That was a dissertation on the greatness of Scrubs, and I am on board 100%. Glad they’re showing Scrubs across the pond.

    It is astonishing how relatable all the characters are in this show (except, really for Kelso, who isn’t supposed to relate to anyone).

    I found the quote from Cox especially poignant about how one person will always stand up and fight if it’s right. Going through something similar right now. This site made life a little easier. Thank you for that.

    Comment by sam | February 26, 2008 | Reply

  5. I agree with Limey on every point he made; Scrubs is amazing. I’ve been looking for Cox’s quote on standing up and fighting. Finding this site was a perfect way to end my night. Thanks so much.

    Comment by jessica | April 15, 2008 | Reply

  6. [and by Limey I mean Gary! sorry 🙂 ]

    Comment by jessica | April 15, 2008 | Reply

  7. “One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it’s right, and they’re real lucky, one of them will say something.” I love that quote from Doctor Cox so much. I’ve been thinking about it ever since I’ve seen the episode, and I’m so glad I found a website that enjoys it just as much as I do. Scrubs is such an amazing show. It perfectly mixes morals and comedy together, making it a really enjoyable show. I feel bad for those poor souls’ lives that haven’t been touched by Scrubs.

    Comment by Mackenzie | April 25, 2008 | Reply

  8. “(To J.D.) Don’t ever be afraid to come to me with stuff like that. The simple fact that you actually seem to give a crap is the reason I took an interest in you to begin with. It’s why I trust you as a doctor. Hell, it’s… it’s why I trust you as a person.”

    … can anyone tell me which season and episode this quote is on? i have been looking for so long and i can not find it.

    please help!

    Comment by Sara | June 29, 2008 | Reply

  9. hey 4 bob kelso what about. ‘who has two thumbs and does’nt give a crap, Bob Kelso.’

    Comment by hayley xoxo | November 30, 2008 | Reply

  10. I think You left off the best part of this quote….

    “[into phone] Darling, I want to say something. For the past 25 years, we’ve been going through the motions …….things I haven’t taken the time to say all these years. … I love you, too.”

    After Kelso hangs up the phone he tells Ted to call his wife and say he won’t be home for dinner!

    Comment by doobzy | January 3, 2009 | Reply

  11. these were so helpful. i love all of these, they actually help me realize somethings-i love the show. but do you know the one that talks about life in general it goes something like “It can be a btich, but thats life, and its all we got.”??

    Comment by erin | January 10, 2009 | Reply

  12. I LOVE scrubs! it the best show ever! i watch it all the time!

    Comment by saяанвeaя | April 9, 2009 | Reply

  13. I think one of the best of Dr. Cox is missing.

    To Jd.

    There are so many ways to tell you this: No nein nee not in a life time and my personal favorite, man falling of cliff NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO … than JD want to say something butt Cox won’t let him until he made a ”Pft” sound

    I know that’s not how he really does it but I always remember the man falling of a cliff 🙂

    Comment by Rene | May 9, 2009 | Reply

  14. Someone was asking about that quote by Dr. Cox…”Don’t ever hesitate to come to me with stuff like this…”

    It’s from the Season 1 finale, “My Last Day.”

    Comment by ScrubsFan09 | October 6, 2009 | Reply

  15. That quote about feeling alone…it’s helped me through so much.

    Comment by Shan | February 22, 2010 | Reply

  16. J.D. “Sometimes if all you have is old words, all you can do is put them together and hope they’ll say something new”

    Scrubs is SO creative…And one of those are the titles of each episode.

    When I go to University I’m going to start a journal! My subject heading for each entry is going start from “My First Day” and movie down!

    Is that a cool idea?

    Comment by Charles | April 15, 2010 | Reply

  17. I think one of my personal favorites was the one at the very end of season six.

    “And so there we were. Together…but not together. And, as always, not knowing what the hell we were doing.”

    Don’t know what it is about that quote, but it just gets to me, y’know?

    Comment by Jayden | May 31, 2010 | Reply

  18. never underestimate the power of listening

    Comment by wehh | June 23, 2010 | Reply

  19. I love Scrubs!! How could anyone not?? I love all the ending quotes the best! It always gives me something to think about

    Comment by Adria | August 16, 2010 | Reply

  20. nice collection of quotes. couldnt select the best one though. very nice job ! 🙂

    Comment by jeswin augustine | September 1, 2010 | Reply

  21. Just dropped in to say thank you 🙂
    I had this page bookmarked since a really long time, maybe a year and visit this page often.

    Today I thought I should drop in to say thanks

    Comment by Quakeboy | February 1, 2011 | Reply

  22. You’re missing my favorite Kelso:

    “Who has 2 thumbs and doesn’t give a damn? Bob Kelso! Nice to meet you!”

    then the follow up:

    “Who has 2 thumbs and still doesn’t give a damn? Bob Kelso! I thought we met..”

    Comment by Ty | February 12, 2011 | Reply

  23. I am sorry I have no way to get ahold of him ..I looked for his number and I dont have it .He does frequent the nest on alberta to give you a lead good luck

    Comment by baidu678 | September 8, 2011 | Reply

  24. nicely done.

    Comment by Hugh | September 28, 2011 | Reply

  25. U did q great job I love all this J.D. saying.

    Comment by Cal | November 11, 2011 | Reply

  26. Thank you for the quotes. I love the show also… great life quotes. 🙂

    Comment by Documented_Prism | December 18, 2011 | Reply

  27. So I have a question and I’m sure you could find the answer for me. I know there’s an episode of Scrubs where I’m pretty sure it’s JD that says the quote, “every person we let ourselves care about is just one more lose down the line”… Now I already know that this is also a quote from Grey’s Anatomy but I can’t seem to find what episode it was that this was said in Scrubs as well. Can you find it please?

    Comment by Brea'Anna | June 22, 2012 | Reply

    • That is a great quote (as they all seem to be) however I’ve been looking and looking to track down which Scrubs episode it came from but all I can find is the Grey’s Anatomy episode. Are you absolutely sure you saw it on Scrubs? I’ll keep looking either way

      Comment by Adam | June 22, 2012 | Reply

      • I could have sworn I dis because I wrote the quote down literally right after watching the episode and I have from scrubs underneath, but it was a long time ago so maybe I just messed up the day I wrote it. Thank you for trying to look though.

        Comment by Brea'Anna | June 23, 2012


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